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Is vulnerability a form of weakness?

Is vulnerability a form of weakness?

Why it is important to be authentic during the process of self development.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability and authenticity

Brene Brown

When it comes to bearing our inner selves, warts and all, it’s such a difficult aspect to even think about doing, however, when it does happen the break through is immense and liberating as everything to do with self development, it is not an overnight transformation. However how do you go about taking the steps towards opening up and revealing yourself as you are.

In my experience, vulnerability did not come easy, its taken me 37 years to realize that I didn’t know who I was, I needed to tackle some difficult personal that were embedded in my psyche. It’s been a progressive experience as I had to peel away all the layers that had protected or I guess hindered me to finding my true self. My self confidence issue has always been a battle as I never believed in myself and thought  I was worthy of achieving what I would deep down want to achieve. In the end I realize I was my own hurdle, my own obstacle and I self sabotaged. 

As much as I gave people good advice or  a shoulder to cry on, I never was comfortable bearing my inner fears and anxieties to my close friends and family. Not because I didn’t want to, because growing up, it wasn’t something that we ever discussed. There was never a time I would sit down with my mum to talk about what was going on in my life, my experiences during my teenage years even though i knew my parents loved me, we just never had the deep level conversations so I just grew up with a tough but philosophical outlook to issues.  I didn’t realize I was  closed emotionally and it took me having my son to realize that I had to change. My son is  sensitive and emotional and I was not sure how to deal with it at first and I slowly learnt that I needed to change, small steps there were, I still had a long way to go. 

When you’re emotionally closed, you learn to be a brilliant actor/actress as you’re able to skim over life experiences and block the emotion that comes with it. The last few months, I had to reevaluate and become vulnerable and honest with myself, I am embarking on a project that brings me financial and social freedom  because I was scared of failure, and connecting with people I sat on this idea for such a long time until a very good friend of mine sat me down and we had a long chat. I began taking steps to improving my confidence, telling myself that I am worthy of going for my dream and succeeding. Now I perform  daily rituals of

  • gratitude – being grateful for what I have and knowing the endless possibilities around us.
  • being present – being present in the moment fully, be it with family, friends or on my own.
  • having authentic conversations with my family and friends – talking about my emotions or issues that arise rather than trying to tackle things on my own. 

What are the steps you took to become more vulnerable? Is this something you had to learn in your adult life? What have you gained from showing your vulnerability. I would love to hear from you and learn, as I said in my earlier paragraphs, it’s not an overnight transformation, I am still work in progress and enjoying the journey, realizing it’s better to be real than perfect. 

Until next time……………………..

3 Ways of enhancing your quality time without gadgets!!!

3 Ways of enhancing your quality time without gadgets!!!

Most of us reading this know the importance of managing time when you are a parent. However it is not as easy as it sounds. There are so many factors that we face whilst at the same time ensuring you have ample quality time with the family.

The guilt I have faced when conversing with my two children whilst cooking dinner, making a mental note of what to pack in their lunchboxes and then trying to remember the conversation I had to then find out, you were in ”autopilot mode” and you didn’t actually hear what they were saying. We miss out on finding out what our children have been doing at school and their day to day antics due to digital noise.

We are all too consumed by technology, so much that it has taken us away from communicating face to face. Access to the outside world is at our fingertips and we have a voyeuristic behaviors, checking what is happening to someone on social media instead of taking time to find out how the person next to you is feeling. I am guilty of this and have had to exercise a few rules in order to spend some quality time with the children. I’m sure you can follow these and amend them accordingly if you don’t have children as the main action is to switch off from technology!

  • Switching off phones from 7pm till bedtime. When the phone/iPad/laptop is switched off, there is not temptation to watch that cute cat dancing or the 3 second clip of a hilarious moment captured by someone on vine.
  • Silent or interactive reading – the whole family sits down to read a book individually or together. This serves two purposes, firstly it encourages habitual reading and spending time together. Expands the mind and encourages imagination which in turn leads to creativity.
  • Wednesday board session – every Wednesday we try and play a board game before bedtime. I do get the competitive bug and it is half the fun, it is interactive, fun and great way communicating and staving the need to reach for a gadget.

I’ve tried the above exercises in the last 3 weeks so far some have worked, the reading definitely worked. Board sessions haven’t worked so far due to chaperoning kids to some activities in the evening. What do you do to cut off from the buzzing outside world? Are you facing these challenges that we cannot escape the voyeurism fed by human curiosity instinct? Do you have the ability to escape the digital noise? How do you silence the noise and find time to reflect and rest? I will find more activities to add to my list as I’m sure there are plenty that work for other people. Until next time…

 

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