Why it is important to be authentic during the process of self development.
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability and authenticityBrene Brown
When it comes to bearing our inner selves, warts and all, it’s such a difficult aspect to even think about doing, however, when it does happen the break through is immense and liberating as everything to do with self development, it is not an overnight transformation. However how do you go about taking the steps towards opening up and revealing yourself as you are.
In my experience, vulnerability did not come easy, its taken me 37 years to realize that I didn’t know who I was, I needed to tackle some difficult personal that were embedded in my psyche. It’s been a progressive experience as I had to peel away all the layers that had protected or I guess hindered me to finding my true self. My self confidence issue has always been a battle as I never believed in myself and thought I was worthy of achieving what I would deep down want to achieve. In the end I realize I was my own hurdle, my own obstacle and I self sabotaged.
As much as I gave people good advice or a shoulder to cry on, I never was comfortable bearing my inner fears and anxieties to my close friends and family. Not because I didn’t want to, because growing up, it wasn’t something that we ever discussed. There was never a time I would sit down with my mum to talk about what was going on in my life, my experiences during my teenage years even though i knew my parents loved me, we just never had the deep level conversations so I just grew up with a tough but philosophical outlook to issues. I didn’t realize I was closed emotionally and it took me having my son to realize that I had to change. My son is sensitive and emotional and I was not sure how to deal with it at first and I slowly learnt that I needed to change, small steps there were, I still had a long way to go.
When you’re emotionally closed, you learn to be a brilliant actor/actress as you’re able to skim over life experiences and block the emotion that comes with it. The last few months, I had to reevaluate and become vulnerable and honest with myself, I am embarking on a project that brings me financial and social freedom because I was scared of failure, and connecting with people I sat on this idea for such a long time until a very good friend of mine sat me down and we had a long chat. I began taking steps to improving my confidence, telling myself that I am worthy of going for my dream and succeeding. Now I perform daily rituals of
- gratitude – being grateful for what I have and knowing the endless possibilities around us.
- being present – being present in the moment fully, be it with family, friends or on my own.
- having authentic conversations with my family and friends – talking about my emotions or issues that arise rather than trying to tackle things on my own.
What are the steps you took to become more vulnerable? Is this something you had to learn in your adult life? What have you gained from showing your vulnerability. I would love to hear from you and learn, as I said in my earlier paragraphs, it’s not an overnight transformation, I am still work in progress and enjoying the journey, realizing it’s better to be real than perfect.
Until next time……………………..