Why it is important to be authentic during the process of self development.
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability and authenticity
When it comes to bearing our inner selves, warts and all, it’s such a difficult aspect to even think about doing, however, when it does happen the break through is immense and liberating as everything to do with self development, it is not an overnight transformation. However how do you go about taking the steps towards opening up and revealing yourself as you are.
In my experience, vulnerability did not come easy, its taken me 37 years to realize that I didn’t know who I was, I needed to tackle some difficult personal that were embedded in my psyche. It’s been a progressive experience as I had to peel away all the layers that had protected or I guess hindered me to finding my true self. My self confidence issue has always been a battle as I never believed in myself and thought I was worthy of achieving what I would deep down want to achieve. In the end I realize I was my own hurdle, my own obstacle and I self sabotaged.
As much as I gave people good advice or a shoulder to cry on, I never was comfortable bearing my inner fears and anxieties to my close friends and family. Not because I didn’t want to, because growing up, it wasn’t something that we ever discussed. There was never a time I would sit down with my mum to talk about what was going on in my life, my experiences during my teenage years even though i knew my parents loved me, we just never had the deep level conversations so I just grew up with a tough but philosophical outlook to issues. I didn’t realize I was closed emotionally and it took me having my son to realize that I had to change. My son is sensitive and emotional and I was not sure how to deal with it at first and I slowly learnt that I needed to change, small steps there were, I still had a long way to go.
When you’re emotionally closed, you learn to be a brilliant actor/actress as you’re able to skim over life experiences and block the emotion that comes with it. The last few months, I had to reevaluate and become vulnerable and honest with myself, I am embarking on a project that brings me financial and social freedom because I was scared of failure, and connecting with people I sat on this idea for such a long time until a very good friend of mine sat me down and we had a long chat. I began taking steps to improving my confidence, telling myself that I am worthy of going for my dream and succeeding. Now I perform daily rituals of
- gratitude – being grateful for what I have and knowing the endless possibilities around us.
- being present – being present in the moment fully, be it with family, friends or on my own.
- having authentic conversations with my family and friends – talking about my emotions or issues that arise rather than trying to tackle things on my own.
What are the steps you took to become more vulnerable? Is this something you had to learn in your adult life? What have you gained from showing your vulnerability. I would love to hear from you and learn, as I said in my earlier paragraphs, it’s not an overnight transformation, I am still work in progress and enjoying the journey, realizing it’s better to be real than perfect.
Until next time……………………..
When you hear people saying change your mindset it sounds so easy right? Its not like flicking a light switch and all of a sudden you’re thinking positively and everything starts going your way. Many factors affect our lives that may sway our mindset from a positive healthy mindset to negative, these could be, but not limited to –
Our childhood upbringing
Mental health issues
When you are deep in despair and not quite sure how your life can be fulfilled and positive, it is then difficult to think positively. However, in order to turnaround your life from one of scarcity and despair to one of abundance and positivity, you have to change your mindset to match. This brings me to ”law of attraction”, the universal law that governs each and every human being, we probably can manifest negativity much easier than positivite energy without conscious awareness by our thoughts and emotion. What we put out there we get back, like a boomerang, we reflect exactly what we then get back.
”You get what you focus, so focus on what you want”. Changing your mindset to focus on the positives in your life creates a flow of energy that only great opportunities and synchronicity will be evident. Opportunities will start pouring in, sometimes from unexpected sources, the goals you were aiming to achieve will start happening, this is not by a wave of a magic wand. I was listening to a guy on Youtube who spoke about how he was stressing about setting up his business, because he wanted it so badly he focused on it so much yet at the same time he did not take time to rest and reflect. One time he decided he needed to take time out, walk his dog and stretch his legs so he can refocus and recharge batteries. Part of him was telling him that would be a waste of time, thankfully he chose to take that break and walk his dog. During his walk, he bumped into a friend who happened to ask him what he was doing as a job, the conversation they had there, was the missing puzzle to what he wanted to achieve. His life changed from that point, he got the lead he needed and his business went from strength to strength.
The following are the steps I’ve taken to change my mindset, it is a journey and enjoy the experience as it opens up your eyes
- Believe in yourself – fall in love with yourself, if other people can achieve the goals they’re aiming, what’s stopping you? If you believe in yourself and have confidence, like minded people will be drawn to you. Even if you have to tell yourself, write it down or read it to yourself (affirmations), in time you will start to notice that it gets easier believing and loving yourself
- Do not pass judgement – practice empathy, love to everything around you – the way you treat others will be the same way you will be treated. Remember, what you put out there will come flying back to you, so imagine if you radiate positivity and love, the same will come in abundance
- Be present – mindfulness is important, when you open your eyes, you will start to notice the opportunities around you, like minded people will start coming your way, encouraging and supporting you through your journey
- Come from a place of abundance never scarcity, this is of utmost importance, when you open up your heart and move towards a place of less resistance, abundance can only come your way. You can only magnetize things from the same vibrational frequency as you.
- Meditation, stillness brings about reflection and focus, when we focus, quietening the little voice, we can search deep within and answers and solutions will become apparent.
Our thoughts and emotions carry energy so we can only receive what we reflect, its not an overnight achievement, small steps that will become a life style. Don’t wait to achieve something in order to be happy, be happy and enjoy the journey whilst seeking and fulfilling your purpose.
Until next time……………………
We are all connected as humans, to the earth and the universe therefore we will often communicate and given guidance. This is all central to one, some might identify it as God, Source, Divine or nothing at all depending on your personal belief. I believe we are not solitary in this world (and by world I mean the whole universe, and mind you we are only a speck in the milky way). If you think about it, what we have on earth, the minerals, water and gases – we have components of these and we do need them in order to maintain our health. What we have on earth is replicated under the sea.
The body has electric charges – look at the function of the heart, it has electric charging taking place for it to continue beating, that is one but not all examples. If we have that capability this means we have energy, and what is energy when we relate it to a human being, would you call it your soul. Is that what makes you who you are? So if you think of all the components that makes us as humans plus the soul and energy we produce and possess then it sounds right that we are connected to each other and the universe.
A lot of signs come to us sometimes we just don’t notice it especially when we are closed off and we are not conscious or in other terms widely known ”present”. Many a times we are living in auto pilot mode where we are not aware of the beauty around us. The world is such an amazing place and at times we lose focus and we lack gratitude of this experience. Our world is full of it’s own energy which we can draw from, it’s energy is abundant and infinite and we can use this to ground us when we are feeling unbalanced/unsettled. This is a free resource you do not need to pay a subscription fee its there for the taking! So why are only a few people are aware of this, why are there only a few with the ”awakened consciousness”? We lead busy hectic lives that leave us no time to reflect and have time to communicate with our soul, continuously doing this as a human race has resulted in a closed unconscious soul. We have lost our connection with ”our Source” therefore we are blind to the signs and guidance that is given to us.
Synchronicity and law of attraction are connected, that is my opinion. The reason I think they are is ”we attract what we desire” and by so doing the frequency of which we begin to notice this brings about the synchronicity. I will reiterate, it is my personal opinion and I look forward to hearing other’s opinions. Here is an example that happened on 4th July, small as it might sound. I had been reading about putting thoughts into action and had made a Instagram ”as you think so shall you be”, what we think becomes reality if we put emotion, whether positive or negative. I embarked on my train journey to work and whilst standing in the rush hour packed train a girl had with a black tote bag with the words ” Dream your desires to come true” that made me smile as it resonated with what I’d been reading earlier and for me I thought that is the universe telling me that it’s listening and it will be bring those thoughts towards me. It made me smile even if it might not be significant. It also made me realize that I had had a wave of consciousness, of awareness which I need to be consciously aware and work at it until it becomes part of my lifestyle without purposely practicing it. I am working towards it becoming a part of me not something I have to remember to do.
The past couple of weeks I had to review my attitude towards my children, work colleagues, friends and strangers around me. Firstly I had to stop passing judgement, practice patients (especially behind the wheel) and to realize that we are all connected and everyone deserves love. It has been really exciting and an eye opener to put into place these steps. What good is it, to preach goodness and consciousness when it is not resonated in your life. To be conscious here are a few pointers to head in the right direction
- be in the moment, be present in your surroundings, absorb and articulate the detail around you
- be healthy – a healthy mind needs a healthy body, when you eat healthily you become aware of the goodness of nourishing foods that feed your body, mind, and soul
- having a sense of purpose, we were created to serve on this earth, each and everyone of us has a purpose. When you become mindful and aware of who you are you will find your purpose.
- conscious awareness – become unbiased towards everyone and everything around you. I have noticed my patience when i’m driving has improved my view of people, and have become to accept that everyone is where there are supposed to be at that time, whether they are driving at snail pace.
- you will start resonating and connecting with like minded people who are on the same path as you
As I’m finishing off this blog post, I’ve been listening to Dr Joe Dispenza, Gregg Braden and Bruce Lipton on YouTube and they are discussing becoming conscious, when we choose to make changes to our lives, the vibration levels that opens up the door to your subconscious this enabled by 0.1 Hz signal between your heart and your brain (heart brain harmony) talk about synchronicity. If you would like to listen to this powerful video please click this link
Pain is not something we love to experience, It stops us from enjoying the simple things in life, let alone going on about our daily lives. The last few weeks have been challenging for my father as he was recently diagnosed as having arthritis causing troublesome pain and discomfort. Arthritis is a condition that affects joints causing stiffness, swelling decreasing the use of limbs, there are two types of this condition – rheumatoid and osteoarthritis.
- Rheumatoid arthritis is auto immune, meaning, your immune system is attacking the cells lining your joints.
- Osteoarthritis usually prevalent in over 50’s can be due to severely damaged joints or damaged by a previous existing conditions
To relieve the pain he was prescribed codeine, which is beneficial in suppressing pain and reducing discomfort however it has it’s limitations.
- it could lead to mental and or physical dependence
- pain killers are known to cause constipation
In conclusion, long term use of codeine is not advisable therefore we should explore other options that we can utilize so the condition can become manageable. I suggested trying a holistic approach, my dad is not really one who has used oils or understands the benefits but he was willing to try anything to relieve the pain. I concocted a portion which he has been using for the last week. I needed to make an oil that will promote pain relief, relaxation and a sense of calm.
I made the massage oil using the following oils for their benefits, I used a 30ml dropper bottle mixed the lavender and bergamot in the sweet almond oil. Inverted gently and hey presto! It has such an amazing fragrance too. Ensure you use amber colored bottle as it will keep the oil fresh for longer and will protect the contents from UV light.
- Sweet almond oil (carrier oil I will use to add my essential oils) for its beautiful absorption and high levels of vitamin E, it is also great for relieving muscle ache and pain.
- Lavender oil is widely known for its use in relieving tension and muscle pain, the fragrance is so relaxing that my dad noticed he has been sleeping better when massaged at night. (I used 6 drops)
- With it’s citrus sweet smell Bergamot oil is a perfect oil to combine with lavender. Bergamot has anti inflammatory and analgesic properties making it a perfect component for this massage oil. (I used 6 drops).
It’s only been a week but my mum has been massaging this oil on my dad’s arthritic joints and she seems to think it is aiding in the pain management. My dad is never one to try out things he is not aware of, so for him to persist with this for a week can only mean he is noticing the benefits too, plus he gets to have a free massage from my mum, its a win win!!!
What other methods have you used to relieve the aches and pains you have experienced?
Until next time……………………………