Relationships are as complex as trying to figure out what happens when our souls depart this earth, however as human beings we yearn to love and be loved, sharing memories and wonderful experiences.

You often hear people exclaim that ”Love hurts”, I disagree, Love does not hurt, it is pure and peaceful, we use the term ”love” synonymous  to ”relationship”. Usually when a relationship turns sour, a lot of emotions run rampant and couples suffer and respond to this differently. My question is, ”how do you recover from a break up with some or all of your senses still intact?”, lets be honest there are things some people have done to their exes to express their hurt, some quite funny, others not so good. I’ve heard of a guy who decided to take all his girlfriend’s earrings backs just to annoy her and that was after a break up. That i think is hilarious however some have scratched their exes cars because they found out they’d cheated. It might make you feel good albeit for a short time but when the short lived satisfaction is over the hurt is still there. That’s the same as drinking to drown your sorrows, that is a temporary relief but when you wake up tomorrow the pain and emotions around that issue are still there, together with a banging headache.

We need to focus on how we can recover from the breakup ensuring we have emotional health and most of our dignity, yes i’ve said it, we need to have dignity. From a personal point of view, I have experienced being the one that ended a relationship and also the one that was left heartbroken and in both instances I found the following steps helped me ride the emotional wave whilst at the same time giving me clarity and hope that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. These steps might not help everyone however there are some who might resonate with this.

  • Forgiveness – forgiving the action and forgiving your ex. I  feel that was a great step personally for me following the break up. A lot of times people focus on the hurt they’re going through and in turn harbour a lot of resentment which creates a negative mindset.
  • Negativity does not help moving on. We attract like for like so you can imagine if you have negative intentions you will attract a lot of negativity towards you. Hence you hear people exclaiming how they seem to attract the same type of person. I have come to discover that after a break up you need to ”detox” yourself of anything to do with the person you’re with.
  • Finding yourself- rediscover who you are as an individual, the best way to move on is to find happiness within yourself. We do not need to find a partner to bring happiness. A partner should be someone you have to share the happiness you already have. Find out what you love doing, a new hobby, go out with friends, socialize with the people that care about you and take steps towards your happiness by being happy on your own.
  • Most importantly, Love yourself, love who you are as a person, flaws and all. If you cannot love yourself, how do you expect to love someone else? How do you expect to share any love and be loved too.

When you feel complete within yourself, only then are you able to attract the right person in your life. Life is a lesson in itself so accepting that someone can come into your life for a season to teach some life lessons is a great way to overcome resentment and hate. You will always look back and accept once you have identified what they came to do in your life.

Do you have any steps you’ve taken to overcome a relationship break up? If so what was it? Were they healthy steps? Or are there steps you might want to review and change?

Until next time…………………………..

 

 

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